so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
