I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
