Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
