I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
