i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
What drink are we having for lunch?
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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