fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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