I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
