i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
