i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
