he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
