Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
