I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
ugly people sure do ruin things
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
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