And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
His hands were made for my vagina.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize
