11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
