i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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