o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
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