I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I need to sanitize my soul.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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