Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
We don't watch enough power rangers
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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