Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
He passed out mid-signature
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
