Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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