You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
