If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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