It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
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