you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
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