I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Randomize
