Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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