Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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