SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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