i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
