the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Randomize
