This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Randomize
