Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
