Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
