sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I said "one day" and that day is not today
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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