I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
