escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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