So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
We just shotgunned beers for America
Blood and glitter go together right?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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