once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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