I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
