Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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