need another drink. this is the easiest way
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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