I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
