I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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