They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
drinking out of a sandbucket again
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
