Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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