We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
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