Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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