party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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