So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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