my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
